Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement.
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.


I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.


Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.


Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?


I need honest advice.
Claimed She Was Virgin, Rushed Engagement. Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart. I met this lady (a doctor) 4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31. She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time. Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up. I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth. She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin. Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much. On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace. Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation? I need honest advice.
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Posted 2026-05-16 10:30:39
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